Scream
by lemon31
Summary: Part 8 of the Soundtrack Series. He had everything, so why did he feel like he'd lost? Chad agonises over Ryan's departure to New York. Chyan. Angst. Slash.


He had everything.

A loving family, the chance to follow his dreams at the U of A, the perfect boyfriend.

So why did it feel like he'd lost?

Chad rolled onto his back and clutched his pillow to his chest.

His motto had always been, 'Seize the day (or the ball) and enjoy every minute,' but he'd never had to deal with change, well, not one quite so huge as this.

If only he'd chosen someone who would settle for something less than stardom, someone who'd be content to stay in Albuquerque and not chase ambition in New York.

But they wouldn't be Ryan, who'd turned his world upside down with those secret smiles and that shy first kiss.

Apathy was a non-existent trait in the Danforths, and Chad was no exception. He had to do something, anything, to sort this out.

****

"Charles Danforth, do you have _any _idea what time this is to be calling?"

"Tay.......I needed someone........to talk......"

A feeling of panic rose overwhelmed her for a moment; what was so serious that it couldn't wait til the morning? Chad may have been her closest male friend, but he'd never seeked her out for advice or sounded so distraught. Taylor sat up in bed, turned on her lamp and tried to brush away the haze of sleep.

"Well, I'm here and listening. Go ahead."

It took Chad a moment to try and sort out the thoughts rushing through his head, but even then he couldn't even begin to coherently express himself. Trying to put all his emotions into a few words, he spoke hesitantly,

"It's the future, and Ryan. He's going to leave, and I can't stop him."

Taylor breathed a silent sigh of relief that no one was injured or dead, and tried to deal with the problem at hand.

"You aren't alone in feeling like that. Look at Troy and Gabi – they're facing the same difficulties, too."

"Troy's going to follow her to California, that's pretty much certain. I can't apply to NYU, I've no chance of getting a place there."

Taylor sensed that something was being left unsaid.

"But.......?"

"But I know Ryan could easily give up Julliard and come to the U of A with me."

"Are you seriously considering asking him that? It'll mean giving up his dream, and his independence from Sharpay. U of A will be just like East High, and he'll be reduced to her poodle again."

Chad ran a hand through his hair, fingers getting caught in the knots.

"I know, I know, I can't ask him, but, Tay........I'm so scared of losing him."

"Do you want my honest opinion?"

Silence but Taylor could almost feel Chad nodding.

"What you have, with Ryan, is closer to my idea of love than Troy and Gabi's relationship will ever be. They've broken up before, who's to say they won't again, before they even start at university? You and Ryan may have a shorter relationship, but it seems far more long lasting and mature. The fact that you're considering Ryan's feelings proves this and shows that, unlike Troy, you aren't completely self-centred."

Realising that she had adopted her 'science lecturing' voice, Taylor stopped herself from delving further into the politics of the relationship of East High's Golden Couple – a subject in which she was well versed.

"It's just so hard, I mean, where do I go from here?"

"You're going to tackle this _with _Ryan, man-to-man."

"I'm not sure anymore. I love Ryan, I really do, Tay, but I can't choose between breaking up with him before it gets too complicated or seeing where it takes us."

Obviously the 'go get 'em, tiger' approach hadn't worked, so she tried a more emotional method.

"Just trust your heart."

Another silence, but this time it seemed that Chad had been stunned into speechlessness.

"I've never known you to be so soppy, Taylor. That sound like something right out of a Disney movie and it doesn't help in the least."

"Well, I was trying my best to play the 'supportive friend' role."

"I know, I'm sorry. I didn't mean to snap at you. All this talk of the future gives me a feeling of impending doom and the clock's running down continuously. If only time would stop, stand still for just a while, so I can enjoy what I have right now."

He paused, and then exclaimed, almost loud enough for his parents in the next room to hear,

"God, it makes we want to scream with unfairness of it all!"

"My only advice is to talk it out with Ryan, it will hurt him more if you keep this all to yourself and then spring it on him on Graduation Day."

"Yes, you're right. Damnit, you always are. I'll let him down gently but, if he feels the same way I do, he'll be crushed and I don't know if I could bear causing him any pain."

"You don't have to break up with him, Chad. That's not the only solution."

Chad continued talking, as if he hadn't heard her at all.

"I have to do it, though. There's no way I could allow myself to guilt him into staying in Albuquerque. Thanks for listening, Tay, and sorry for waking you."

With a click Taylor heard the call being cut off but, not feeling the least bit sleepy, she continued sitting up in bed, racking her brains for a way to keep Chad and Ryan together.

****

Chad pulled the duvet over his head and tried to ignore the sick feeling in his stomach and the wetness leaking from the corners of his eyes. Whispering into the darkness he heard his voice tremble slightly,

"What am I going to do without you, Ryan?"

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